thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
