Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize