Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
birth control should be required to get into college
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
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