I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
