Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
