Whod you bang
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
