I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
