Sry I called you an 8
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
