Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
