that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
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