just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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