why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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