We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
