Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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