So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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