Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
