I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
