tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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