I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
