do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
