He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
