i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
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