I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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