I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
