I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
