I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
