When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize