She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
