Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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