I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Randomize
