you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
