Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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