I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize