yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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