She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
