We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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