There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
jump out the window naked night went bad
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