i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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