well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
