Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
