I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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