Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize