did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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