she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
