therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize