I'm drive I can fine osifer
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
