at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
