singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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