I heard we made out
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
