my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
tell me about the eggs
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
