come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
