where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
