Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize