I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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