And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
