If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
