he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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