So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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