He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
