His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Randomize
