this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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