seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I wish life had little blips of pornography
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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