You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
