I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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