She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize