I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
