Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
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