I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Let's paint friendship bongs
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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