I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
