trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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