why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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