That's when you crack a 10am beer
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
